Should I Get a Prenup?

“If I ever want to get married, I will just find a woman I hate and buy her a house.”

–
Lewis Grizzard

Did I ever tell you the one about the self-made millionaire, worked his whole life, with less than five hours sleep every night. The kind of person willing to see what the American Dream is really worth by his weight in blood and sweat, then lost it all to a girl who told him she loved him?

Maybe you’ve heard it before.

The names change but some variation of this story seems to always be happening. One of the more recent examples was that of Elizabeth Petrakis, she cheated on her husband with her own cousins husband, and was then looking to have a divorce. There was a prenuptial agreement in place but Petrakis claimed her husband had privately promised her he would get rid of it at some point. There was no proof of this oral agreement and her husband denied it, but the Judge believed her and chose to throw the prenup out.

Despite the prenup, and despite the fact she had admitted to cheating on her husband, she was still found to be entitled to half his wealth, all of which he had earned independently from her as she had no role in his business.

Years ago these stories didn’t involve prenups and the morale most men took away from them was to always have a prenup. Now the stories play out pretty much the same as before only with a brief aside that ‘yes, there was a prenup but it was disregarded.’

Why Do Prenups Fail?

The main reasons prenups are thrown out are:

The Prenup Was Signed Under Duress or Coercion:
This one is relatively easy for anyone to prove as it on some level can be said to apply to all prenuptial agreements. Basically, if you say you won’t marry her unless she signs it that’s considered using coercion. The law tends to treat women like born-victims with no agency of their own so if a woman says she ‘felt’ forced into signing it, there is a strong chance the document will be thrown out.

The Prenup Was Not Understood by One or Both Parties:
A continuation of point one, while any other reasonable person would be expected to understand something they are signing, occasionally wives are able to have prenuptial agreements thrown out on the grounds that they simply did not understand what they were signing. It is difficult to prove that she understood it, even though the last words before ‘sign here’ on the document are a declaration that the person signing it read and understood the terms, Judges still disregard prenups on the basis that it wasn’t actually understood.

The Prenup is Considered to be Extremely Unfair:
This comes down to the Judge’s opinion, and unfortunately for you they may think anything less than your house, car, kids, and $50,000+ a year in alimony for the next 25 years is unfair.

Why You Should Still Get a Prenup

Even though the effectiveness of a prenup is very much out of your control, it’s still a good idea to have one for a couple reasons. One, it forces you and the person you love to think about what happens in a worst-case-scenario situation. It’s a difficult conversation to have, but hey – if you’re going to be married to someone you should be able to have difficult conversations with them.

Remember, if you never get divorced the prenup doesn’t matter at all so the objection to signing one being ‘but I never want to get divorced‘ doesn’t really make any sense because if you don’t get divorced it doesn’t affect you in any way and is as if it doesn’t exist.

Depending on your financial situation there are some things your wife may appreciate being kept separate as well, a prenup should detail your terms regarding the division of:

• Debts– Student debt, credit debt. Decide on how both pre-marital debt, that is debts you each accumulated on your own, and debts you may incur in the future, should be divided in the event of a divorce.
  
  
• Assets – Decide on how assets such as your home, vehicles, and savings will be split in the event of a divorce.
  

The main benefits of discussing these things in the context of creating a prenup are seeing how your future wife truly feels about finances and each of your roles in the marriage. There is still a possibility that the prenup will be disregarded during an actual divorce, but she may not know that so this will give you some idea of her underlying intentions in marrying you and this is why the answer to the question “should I get a prenup?” is always yes.

Tips To Strengthen a Prenup

To increase the chance of the prenuptial agreement being respected in the event of divorce:

• Ensure it is signed several months prior to the actual Marriage.
  
  
• If possible, have both yours and your wife’s lawyers draft and review the prenup.
  

Doing these two things will make it significantly more difficult for your wife and her legal counsel to argue she was coerced into signing it.