Representing Yourself in a Divorce

It takes about seven years of formal higher education to become a licensed divorce lawyer but anyone can choose to represent themselves in a court of law. Whether you are choosing to do this for financial or other reasons be aware that it opens you up to a number of pitfalls. As the old adage says ‘a man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client’ (or something like that), when choosing if you should be representing yourself in a divorce there is a lot to keep in mind.

Beyond simply having professional knowledge and experience, attorneys also carry with them an element of respect. Judges and opposing legal counsel are more likely to listen to an attorney than they are to listen to a layman. When you represent yourself you lose the element of built-in professional respect. That does not mean it is impossible to successfully navigate a divorce without the help of an attorney, just that it will be more difficult.

Quick Tips for Self-Representation in Divorce

Some tips to help you along the way if you choose to represent yourself in your divorce.

Look into your specific states (or country / region) laws.
Contact people who have represented themselves successfully and, if possible, meet with them and ask them questions.
If possible, visit the court beforehand and sit-in on a case similar to yours, seeing how things work in person can be immensely helpful though as not all court proceedings are open to the public the opportunity to do this may not be there for you.
If things get rough near the end, don’t be ashamed to seek legal counsel late in the game. It can still be helpful and you’ll have a better idea of what you are facing and need in a lawyer. Many attorneys offer what they call ‘limited scope representation’ – which is where you are able to hire them for just a few hours to help with a specific element of your case, you can do this to help you prepare for the case or later on if you get stuck on something.
When in court, dress respectfully and show respect to the Judge. They are in charge and if they do not like you, you’ve already lost. Follow all common customs and courtesy’s such as referring to the judge as ‘your honor’.

A Warning Regarding The Discovery Process

If you choose to represent yourself in your divorce, one common are to run into trouble in comes early on in during the discovery process. Discovery is where the opposing legal team is able to request any information or documentation they need from you, you are then in-turn able to make the same request to them.

The problem is that if you are not represented by an attorney you wont know what is a reasonable request and what isn’t, this can lead to you potentially giving out damaging information that you aren’t not required to or it can just lead to you wasting your time, its not uncommon for document requests to be filled with nonsense that you’ll find yourself jumping through hoops to provide documentation of things that are irrelevant to the divorce.

Its also possible that without the assistance of an attorney you may accidentally fill something out incorrectly, or unknowingly provide false information to the court which would be incredibly damaging to your case.

Understand that choosing to be your own attorney, means you are your own attorney

You won’t get any additional sympathy points from the judge for ‘not having an attorney’, by making the decision to represent yourself in the divorce you are now the attorney in your case. If you mess up there wont be any do-overs, and you won’t able to get out of things by simply saying “sorry, I didn’t know about that because I’m not an attorney.”

Making the decision to the be the one representing you in the divorce is not a decision that should be taken lightly, consider all your option available, finding a good divorce attorney may not be as difficult as it seems at first and depending on the specifics associated with your divorce it may be the only real option you have, particularly if this divorce involves the division of valuable assets or child custody concerns – fighting those battles entirely on your own by representing yourself in court is not advisable.