The One Important Question to ask Yourself Before Getting Married
For the majority of people reading through this site, Marriage has already happened. The rings and the vows. The honeymoon and the end of the honeymoon. The whole thing. But for the small percentage of you who’ve stumbled across this blog while planning the wedding, or worse, for those of you currently going through a divorce who already have a new girlfriend that you plan on marrying once this divorce is finalized, I think it’s important that we take a moment and talk about what marriage is, what purpose it holds in modern society, and the one important question to ask yourself before getting married (potentially for the second or third time).
I’m not talking about love here, maybe love’s real, and maybe love’s grand but five hundred thousand men will face divorce this year and I’ve never seen Cupid in the flesh.
So, other than love, what incentive do you have to get married?
Traditionally men get married for two reasons:
- To Start a Family
And, if we’re being honest;
- Sex
The ‘sex’ part of the marriage equation is a little out-dated, that whole sexual revolution thing? It happened, and now consenting adults regularly have sex without needing to be married to do it. In fact modern stereotypes dictate that married people may be having the least sex of any other couple.
Wanting to start a family is a noble and natural desire. Unfortunately it comes with the risk that the woman you decide to marry and start a family with could at some point leave you, get a new husband and have you be little more than the financial backer to her new life with your kids and their new dad.
If that very real risk doesn’t make you think twice about the whole marriage thing, maybe the cost will. I’m not sure I’ve ever met a man who had a ‘dream wedding’ growing up, but almost every woman I know does. And dream weddings ain’t cheap. People regularly spend anywhere between 15 and 80 thousand dollars on their wedding. Even if you have the means, consider what else you could do with that money.
At best, marriage is a great way to lose half of everything you own. At worst, your significant other could chop your penis off while you’re sleeping. So whats the one important question to ask yourself before getting married?
“Do I really want to be married?”
Do you? Actually think about it for a second.
Most people just want to be able to say they are married, and they see it as the default thing you’re supposed to be once you pass 30.
Picture what your life would be like on a day to day basis with the woman you’re planning to marry, take out the sex part because at some point that probably wont be happening (at least not with her), and just imagine what your day to day life would be like, are you happy being married.
There are other questions you could ask yourself like “will I be happy paying alimony?“, and “am I okay with another man raising my children and only getting to see them on weekends?” but even if we’re being as optimistic as humanly possible and saying that your potential wife wont ever leave you there’s still the possibility that being married will be a nightmare all by itself, so one more time for the cheap seats, ask yourself:
“do I really want to be married?”
If you do decide to get married, be sure to check out our articles on Prenuptial Agreements, and if things end up going bad consider going over our Before Divorce section.
